The Junk Drawer

I’m convinced that the secret to a man’s soul can easily be found right within his own home. In the recesses of a place so sacred, so hallowed, that no one but the most callous of burglars would dare venture.

Yes, I’m speaking of ... the family junk drawer.

Ah, the junk drawer. That seemingly bottomless storage bin composed not so much of junk, as of items that have “nowhere else to go”. Sort of an “Island of Misfit Toys” for everyday knick-knacks. You wouldn’t, for example, find a shirt in most junk drawers – they usually have their own special closet. Nor would you find dishes or tools or food. They all have their own defined locations. Hopefully...

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Redefining the Golden Years

Listen up now, all of you from the “Greatest Generation”. We’ve gotta talk. I’m having a problem with terminology these days. As I get closer to my golden years, I’m not so sure that I want to be known as a “senior citizen” or “the elderly” or an “old timer.” None of those phrases quite defines what you really are when you’ve reached the height of wisdom and have nothing more to prove. Wouldn’t you agree?

What’s a “senior citizen” anyhow? How do you differentiate one from a junior citizen? Is it more time in grade? Should there be freshmen and sophomore citizens as well? In Spanish, Signor Citizen would mean Mr. Citizen. Does that make any sense? It certainly leaves Mrs. Citizen out of the definition. No, I don’t think I want to be known as a senior citizen. Too patronizing.

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When the Boys Come to Call

We were at the dinner table the other night. Just three of us - my wife, my son, and I. My daughter was upstairs preparing for one of those “dates with a friend”. Such friend dates usually consist of a movie or miniature golf, maybe an ice cream. Sometimes, even dinner at the 99. They always involve a girl and a boy - most often splitting the bill.

Personally, I think the boy should always pay for these dates, even if the kids are just friends. But the old rules of etiquette aren’t very compatible with today’s social definition of what constitutes a date, so that’s wishful thinking on my part. Still and all, a “date with a friend” appears to be a safe kind of date, with the girl usually home by 10 p.m. At least in my house.

Now when the boy decides that his interest in the girl has deepened and wants to be “more than friends” – that’s when the daddy in me gets a lot more defensive.

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